gay

it just occured to me i've wasted alot of time thinking abt the current situation..
doesnt seem to matter much to u anyway.. lettin go sucks.. but its gota happen..

anyway.. i was totally drained out yesterday.. from the continous late nights and over exhaustion.. my body just gave in and hit the pillow.. hp on silent, phone off the hook.. i just wanted sleep..

i feel bad abt alysa party.. i keep feeling she was disappointed in me..i was so worried abt so many things that day i think i screwed up too much.. i'm sorry if i said smth wrong or came late that day.. and i'm sorry abt the tongs and the wire mesh.. i really didnt take them.. i left them outside beside the bbq pit.. i should have brought it in and i'm really sorry if it got lost.. i'll pay for what ever u guys had to pay for cause it was my responsibility and i really dont wnana loose u as a friend just cause of some silly tongs and wire string.. it just never occured to me someone would take them away.. so yeah.. i'm sorry if i caused any trouble for u and yur friends..=(


end here.. feeling dam low lately.. nth much interesting happening in my life..i'm not feeling lonely.. i just feel very alone.. its a different feeling..