eat eat eat, gym gym gym, cook cook cook and sleep more dammit!

hurt.. bt we'll move on soon!

back from india.. man tht trip has put me in prespective.. ive decided my direction and now i just have to start.. i wanna have financial freedom.. i wanna be intelligent and know answers.. and big.. not just a small fry.. a forgotten face in the crowd.. i wanna be the standard.. i'm gonna start by looking for a new job with longer work hours..

i miss the kitchen..

"i wish i was like you.. i wish i didnt care about anyone.."


lines been stuck in my head for the past few days.. to be honest i do care.. i have ALOT of thoughts in my mind.. but i'm just so scared to feel.. i'm really scared to feel..its so difficul to express my self.. i dont like to feel.. cause when i feel i cant focus.. and if i cant focus..i get damm depressed.

i honestly just feel so alone and i'm just putting on this happy go lucky facade.. i'm not happy.. i'm not sad.. i just feel like theres a fight between my heart and head..i feel sad that there may never be a person i could emotionally connect with..

good shit.. watch this..

suddenly thought of this song today.. =)

fuck man.. i cant remember the last time i felt this way.. its awesome in a way..i dint think it was possible..i had narrowed down hope to a strand of white hair in 10kg of cake flour..

and then i found hair! YAAY!

this one really makes me happy..

anyway.. god, i dont know if u read blogs.. but if u do, thank you..