gay
i think back at the conversations we had.. i thought we were tight.. like family.. i look at all the new gnr vids.. and it would have been so fun to go up there and rock together.. but i guess somethings need to go.. your easily influenced character always gets poisoned easily.. i had deep respect for ur drive to succeed.. now, i just find like ive lost it.. loosing it.. i dont want to.. i dont belive u're so different now.. just once again fallen into the temptation cycle.. your own gf knows its a phase once again.. hoping u'd stop being someone u're not.. its sad how a little golden haired poser wannabe can influence u so much.. its funny how u've come to contradict your self.. i'm sorry lar.. i dont like him.. dressing up and looking like u can do so much doesnt make u a rocker.. look at the new gnr now.. the bassist looks like hes some switchfoot member.. axle is wearing big leather coats.. i feel sad cause now when i hear abt you, i feel like u're really a immature fuck.. worse than me.. seriously.. i am dam kiddy.. but its sad la.. i lost a brother.. i really feel that way.. fuck the fame.. u'll look around and see no one u can trust.. we had your back.. i told u before.. u do your job, we'll do ours.. make it work.. and we did.. for a period of time..but then it ended.. oh well.. if their aint no love.. their aint no glory..
its just dam sad..
my gut feelings acting up again.. i can feel the tension.. guess i thought too much into things and went all fairy tale on stuff.. haha.. stuff like this never lasts with me man.. always left with another dead connection.. maybe theres jsut nth left to say..
fuck la.. i'm sad again.. cant skate for shit..cant land things i thought i nailed.. anlke pissing me off... work being annoying.. i'm gonna turn the page..
yesterday was one of those really bad days.. went to get my pay cheque.. raining, slipped into a longkang, scraped my shin really bad.. have a deep gaze in my palm.. worst of all twisted my anlke..
suddenly when i heard the pop, i immediately felt like bursting into tears.. like NOT AGAIN.. NOT AGAIN!! I CANT DO THIS AGAIN! I JUST CANT.. so i hopped back to the restraunt.. cleaned my wounds.. and just walked home in the rain.. dam depressing..
i found 2 bucks though..
i'm begining to feel lost and out of place again.. once again.. i wish i just blanked out.. i'm so tempted too.. I REALLY WANT TO.. and i know i'm just gonna revert to disappearing soon..