i woke up at 5..


i'm going to spend today alone with my self.. beawolf, kfc, and coffee.. =D


oh yea.. EDIT


you know.. i just cant having the fact that they girl i'm dating smokes.. its disgusting.. its low class and its just so dirty.. and as much as i keep telling my self that smoking doesnt define a persons character, it just doesnt seem to get this turned off feeling away.. i mean i have friends who smoke.. hell my parents even smoke.. and i hate it.. honestly.. its disgusting.. so what if it makes u high.. it makes u stink and makes me sneeze..i hate controling people cause i know i hate getting controlled when i drink coke even though its bad for my kidneys which is why i dont say anything..


i dont know.. its killed my mood and i just dont date smokers.. period.. i dont mind changing to become a better person but i will not comprimise my believes anymore..accepting smoking wont make me a better person.. so be it i remain single all my life if every girl i choose to date smokes.. i'll always have cooking and diagonal pop shoves..

star bucks

i've been spending alot of time alone lately.. i kinda like it.. abit of space to think.. breathe.. wonder.. its not abt doing something alone.. its just abt doing nth..


today i skated down to star bucks.. ordered a mocha.. planted my ass outside, turned on my mp3 player and just stoned.. i didnt think abt nth.. i just did nth.. i didnt want to be around anyone.. didnt want to talk to anyone.. nth.. just people watch.. something i havent done in a long time.. and i feel so refreshed..


i still have 1 more year to go in ns.. 1 year has gone by.. but now the days feel increasingly long and my seniors are leaving.. i know it'll be my turn soon.. but why not now?

ugh.. works been strange.. i dont know why sometimes i have to carry the load of officers.. i dont see my friends needing to bother with this.. i mean its good.. but hey.. i like to follow sometimes too u know.. and work is no longer stupid things like filing reports or photo copying paper.. i have to write letters and submit stupid area improvement sheets with pictures.. and then i have to organise nsfs to make sure they know what they have to do for the FCV.. which is a forward command vehicle.. and its so gay..


dammit.. i'm just an nsf.. not an officer.. and my senior is on leave.. and its kinda lonely.. and double the work load.. no one to cover my back.. prime minister is coming to visit scdf on 27 nov.. how not fun..


gonna call lucy and hit the sack..



i feel... rejuvinated.. =D

jenny whats the problem

ok so last thurs was the skate tour..

i think this one was alot more comfortable.. at least for jeff.. since hes always the one whose bullied to go down on him self cause hes the youngest.. anyway.. i think it was a pretty eventful day.. more like alot of downs compared to ups for the team.. ken busted his ankle pretty bad, alvin got a nice ball sack.. pretty pretty scary..lucy and i had a major arguement infront of my friends.. those were some of the bad things.. on the lighter note, jerald has dam nice hair and dam straight kick flips, jeff's belly can be folded, and i finally managed to land that dam pop shove down the stage..


last time i did it at youth park my deck broke.. haha... anyway.. when we first reached the stage, i was dam dam ready to skate like mad.. sadly i got abit upset when i could barely ollie.. my knee was killing me.. i dont even know how i got the dam injury.. and then my shoe wouldnt grip the tape.. i seriously panicked.. like wa laoo.. the one thing u've been looking forward to all week is cant happen..but thankfully after a while my pain went away and my grip came back for some reason..

and i finally ollied 5 decks.. scary but what ever..



night time bbq wasnt as great as i planned.. actually it went great.. just that aiya.. now i dont really know what to say..


i would just say, people have differnet views.. not everyone is the same.. if being shy is a form of rudeness, then yes, we're guilty, but come on.. there are many people out there who have their own approach.. i'm not saying i'm right abt my view.. lucy is right to feel left out.. but then thats the way my friends and i are.. u know what. i'm not being ignorant.. i'm i'm just feeling free..


life sucks for many.. but lets make the best of it!


i like this pj ladd clip..




me alvin jeff mark sam jerald and strange ken.











he calls me baby
then she wont call me
says she adores me
and then ignores me
(Jenny, What's the problem?)

She keeps her distance
and sits on fences
puts up resistance
and builds defenses
(Jenny, Whats the problem?)

You keep me hanging on the line
everytime you change your mind

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

She needs her own space
she's playing mind games
ends up at my place
saying that she's changed
(Jenny, what's the problem?)

I'm trying to read between the lines
you got me going out of my mind

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

(ohh ohh ooohhhh)
It's killing me
(ohh ohh ooohhhh)
It's killing me
(ohh ohh ooohhhh)
Jenny

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

It's killing me