i lost my ipod..

got stolen from bag..


sucked totally at ollieing..

and i hate new urban males again..


i am begining to detest skinny people who dont want to help them selfs.. and fat people who say their trying to loose but still not loosing.. i'm begining to understand teachers.. people say its impossible to gain weight.. i'm gonna prove it is possible.. and i'm gonna help skinny people who wanna help them selves.. but i hate stubborn ones..


oh god dammit.. people please stop lying to your selfs saying that u're fine.. u're not..

stop the fighting.. start the listening..

thanks lucy..

sunday

in a way i cant wait for sunday.. a nice walk in the evening.. all i can hope for is a clear sky.. i dont know why but it makes me happy..

a beautiful mess

HOOO SOMEONE SAID I LOOK LIKE I PUT ON WEIGHT TODAY!

HOO HOO! for prob the first time in my life..


anyway.. things i need to do..

1 apply for citizen ship
2 apply for sch
3 convince more people that i'm fat.
4 get fat..
5 study for SATs
6 go and freaking apply for the dam french classes



this is a beautful song by mraz.. it makes me feel like i'm on cloud 9.. fuck i'm feeling dam gay these days lar.. maybe i'm developing ovaries from the soyabean milk i'm drinking..


You’ve got the best of both worlds
You’re the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again.
You are strong but you’re needy,
Humble but you’re greedy
And based on your body language, your shouted cursive I’ve been reading.
You’re style is quite selective, though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is.

And what a beautiful mess this is,
It’s like picking up trash in dresses.

Well it kind of hurts when kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
‘Cause here we are, here we are.

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they’re quick and probably have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy, depending on how you take these
Words on paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging.

And what a beautiful mess this is,
It’s like picking up trash in dresses.

Well it kind of hurts when kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
kind and courteous is life I’ve heard
But it’s nice to say that we played in the dirt, oh, dear
Cause here we are, Here we are.

Here we are x7

We're still here.

What a beautiful mess this is,
It’s like taking a guess when the only answer is yes.

And through timeless words, in priceless pictures
We’ll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that’s no concern when we’re wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it’s nice today, all the wait it was so worth it.

all you wanted..

so lonely inside...
so busy out there..
and all u wanted was some body who care-eee-yeaaa-eaaass


my social life. is dead.. seriously.. nth.. zilch.. kapich!! i spend my week ends at home and at starbucks reading.. no one calls.. i cant think of no one to call either.. i never used to be like this.. did i cut of so many people while i was attached? i feel so so so fucking disconnected.. i had a life!!

its not that everyones busy.. i just cant think of anyone.. ughhh..


god it feels so strange.. i feel like liz lemon..without boobs.. and i'm like 69.8 kg.. 2oo more grams to first goal.. still.. it sucks.. and no i'm not emo.. i'm not sad.. i just feel strange.. and i'm still happy.. i must have some happy gas pipe leak in my room or smth..

zhi zhu..

to be contented.. or content.. i cant figure out which is the right tense to use.. what ever..

yes.. i am also a people hater.. i hate sooooooooo many things.. everyfuckingtomdickandharryisanewurbanmalegayohfuckme.. but today, i found 2 more people haters.. it aint that bad when u're not alone..


i'm lazy to explain.. BUT i realised i havent been having much family guy and american dad time.. tonight shall be that night..

kitchen kitchen kitchen..

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh elephant cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh elephant cause you'll always be my baby




this weeks been WAYYY better than last.. saw my weight hit 69 for the first time in my life.. it was so amazing.. and to help ky also put on 5.. its just.. amazing for skinny people..


i'm happy... happy for my standards set.. once again.. its an amazing feeling when officers come and compliment u on jobs well done..its no one else.. its just you.. wa lao.. still i cant wait for the kitchen.. its just everything to me.. when people say, wa lao charles how are u gonna find a replacement for sam.. when they say, ltc charles is lucky he has u if not he'll be an angry person.. when other officers say i should get boys like u in my department.. it just makes me feel all the more important and part of the branch.. like i'm once again shown that we're not just nsfs who photo copy papers and do dispatch work or count shit.. we are capable of being exeptional in our small circles. still i cant wait for kitchen.. kitchen kitchen kitchen.. i'm not trying to brag.. i just still feel overwhelmed sometimes cause of being the looser all my life.. nw i've come to accept the fact that hey fuck it, i dont have a poly diploma.. big deal.. i made the right decision.. i'm not soft of unfocused.. i know where i need to be in life..


i like taking photos of people.. when u take a photo of someone, they get the attention.. its like, they're in the spot light.. i like putting people in the spot light and letting them feel important.. sure when most of them smile, their teeth look creepy.. but what ever..

so yes..

kung fu panda

i watched that movie today.. supprisingly its quite good.. as in it had alot of good punch lines..


i went for a walk today after cutting my hair.. people have forgotten about this earths wonders.. NO i'm not gonna go into that ohhh dont litter save the world shit..

but yeah.. the black sky.. white clouds.. gay moon.. shiny stars.. palm trees.. its refreshing..

so yes.. emo one day, happy another.. well i'm only happy cause my protein suppliment is coming in this week.. haha..


END OF THE YEAR I"LL BE BIG! SO FUCK U!

the sky is yours

u see.. only now people like this song when its actually pretty old..

and i realised i'm becoming fucking cynical.. i'm begining to complain abt everything.. theres always some nitty gritty detail that annoys me..

anyway.. yes.. 6 months before the year ends.. i need to submit my application for school.. i cant wait man.. only 6 months left to bulk up.. this time theres no stopping me..


u see.. i love living.. walking and looking at the sky and moon and stars at night.. i love taking pictures of people.. people watching.. car watching.. walking and singing.. skateboarding through crowds.. singing and driving.. singing loudly and driving.. screaming and driving.. i love the speed.. the freedom.. i love travelling from one place to another.. i love night walks with my ipod.. i like the peace and quiet.. i like being near but far.. i just hate new urban males with their slippers and skinny shoulders.. i love reading alone at starbucks..


but then.. at times it sucks to be alone all the time.. all this solitute cuts u off from people.. and then at times, theres just no one to talk to.. and all u have is your self to blame.. i'm confused..