back from india.. man tht trip has put me in prespective.. ive decided my direction and now i just have to start.. i wanna have financial freedom.. i wanna be intelligent and know answers.. and big.. not just a small fry.. a forgotten face in the crowd.. i wanna be the standard.. i'm gonna start by looking for a new job with longer work hours..

i miss the kitchen..

"i wish i was like you.. i wish i didnt care about anyone.."


lines been stuck in my head for the past few days.. to be honest i do care.. i have ALOT of thoughts in my mind.. but i'm just so scared to feel.. i'm really scared to feel..its so difficul to express my self.. i dont like to feel.. cause when i feel i cant focus.. and if i cant focus..i get damm depressed.

i honestly just feel so alone and i'm just putting on this happy go lucky facade.. i'm not happy.. i'm not sad.. i just feel like theres a fight between my heart and head..i feel sad that there may never be a person i could emotionally connect with..

good shit.. watch this..

suddenly thought of this song today.. =)