the past present and future

hello gay

i came across some old photos today..

worst thing was photograph by nickle back happened to be playing on my itunes..

look at this photograph..
every time i do it makes me laugh..
how did our eyes get so red..
what the hell is that on joeys head..

it just made me think of all the things i let go.. how i let two of my closest friends go... do i regret it.. no.. i made my decision.. i hated feeling weak and helpless.. do i miss them.. all the time..




And)this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

how i put decided to be my self instead of constantly being nice to people.. how i decided to just tell people frankly what their problem was.. how i just told people they annoyed me and their friendship didnt matter to me..



And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I've broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

how i wasted 3 yrs of my life in poly.. how i totally regret that.. how i wish i'd just been brave enough to take a bigger step.. i got great friends from poly.. but still i wasted precious time..



i wonder if it's too late
Should I go back and try to graduate
Life's better now than it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in

how i still think if i've got a chance for my dreams to come true.. to finally attain what i want in life.. i still have ns to go.. will it be too late then? will i become what i aspire to be?




Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it,
time to say it
Goodbye goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for

It's hard to say it,
time to say it
Goodbye goodbye

some times letting go of the past is the only way to move on in the future.. i sit on my bed thinking everynight and whats happened before and what could happen in the future.. i look at all my photos when i'm bored on the bus.. skate photos, beach photos, bbq photos.. and i just think of how i was last time and how i am today.. i really feel its time to say good by to the old sam..



Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down

we'd be at chancery every saturday without fail.. now.. its just a broken wooden box.. and a rusty old rail.. no one seems to be interested no more.. they hated us skating there.. people threw our box away.. even after rebuilding it it still seems dead..



We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

ken and i would talk abt going on skate tours.. sing to uptown girl on the radio.. talk abt our video parts.. talk abt all the bullshit we had planned for the future.. we hardly do that no more cause of army and work and all..


Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since God knows when

i guess i could say i loved u..after all the shit we went through together, i dare say i loved u..and u know i meant every word i said.. cause i still think abt u till this day.. like how u are doing.. if ure happy..and like the what ifs and all..but knowing u're with some one else makes my heart feel weak.. it made me feel weak..so i had to step away.. so i made u hate me to make life easier for both of us.. i just hate complications.. we did have smth i felt.. but well.. its smth its too late now..




I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

i do miss it.. i do think abt it.. its one part of me i'll never forget.. so hard and painful to leave.. but i have to.. i want to..


sorry for this terribily emo post.. just in the mood today..