gay...

i skated today.. after quite some time.. was pretty alright with ken..finally managed to land my switch hard flip and rolled away.. ok dam sketchy.. but hey.. improvement is improvement.. must be my sexy short pants.. and haha.. the biggest joke is the switch 360 flip.. that one i want to learn for fun.. its just dam cool la.. cant do normal but can do switch.. i didnt land it though..i feel like my switch stance has grown another level.. like i can comfortably switch ollie up stuff 3 decks high.. the feeling is amazing..


i keep trying to be heartless and not give a shit.. and like try to act as if i dont care abt u two..but i cant.. honestly i still think abt what both u gugu-jiaos are doing everyday.. but i dont know.. i just cant find the right words to say..as in innitiate a convo.. i tried that day.. but u didnt reply.. so yeah.. i got the hint..but still i cant let go.. i got a private number call today and was wondering if it was u.. but i only saw it a few hours after the call.. and i was still kind of hoping it was one of u two.. i know i've that i've put u all in very awkard situations.. and i know i've said i'm manupulative.. but i never did that to the both of u.. i really considered u my friends.. exactly why i invited u to the zachs bbq.. why i talked to u people when u had problems.. why i tried to cheer u all up with all nonsence.. why i'm feeling so fucked up now by the fact i may have lost two really good people.. i didnt do it cause i was trying to get into yur good books.. i did it cause i truly cared abt what u people had to say.. and trust me.. i felt like shit after lying to u all that nite.. u can ask her if u dont believe me.. i still do.. i my self cant forgive my self for what i did and u guys have the right to be angry with me and loose trust in me.. after that, i felt a gap.. a strange gap.. and perhaps now the gap is far to big to ever close up.. sucks doesnt it.. like u said.. friends come, friends go.. i tell that all the time to my one of my best friends xinyi.. and i'm one of those who come and go.. i want to stay.. but sometimes, i my self screw up situations for me to remain in the picture..



i just suck at making the first move to solve problems.. i'm not running away.. i'm just not saying anything to clear it up..


i hate this OC, one-tree-hill,bold and beautiful life..too much complications..
i just hope we jam soon.. real soon.. aaron u bloody chee by come back.. NOW..