oh oh

Gay

My blog is sad.. i only come here when i'm not over the moon.. so u can see i disappeared for the last 2 to 3 months.. cause well.. i was happy.. seriously.. i couldnt ask for any thing more.. i thought army would be a major drag.. but honestly, i'm happy with it.. the friends made it good.. constant bitching like little school girls.. one from bombay, one from australia, one from japan and one from pakistan.. man we were so gay.. and it was good.. and still is.. but i mean that gets me going through out the day.. when people are around me, i forget my issues.. i forget my problems.. but the moment i step in the bus with my crappy emo song playlist playing, i feel like crap.. i just think of why? why? why? why?.. but i mean hey, i did get smth back.. the old me.. the wanting to help change the world sam-eer.. like for a long time i closed up, and didnt bother with any thing else but my self and close friends.. now i've realised it extends everywhere.. except to those i feel who take me for granted.. i cant stand that.. be nice..


the last relation ship i was in sort of just ended abruptly for me.. whose fault.. i dont know.. both of us i guess.. she felt unhappy, i felt confused cause i all along i thought she was happy.. and then smack right in my face she tells me shes unhappy with me.. so i flip.. and i know its dam stupid.. from what seemed like a time out at first had resulted in total loss of communication and i dont know how to start a convo.. i tried.. i really still want to be friends.. at least on talking terms.. i dont know why.. but as for the side of me that actually hopes to actually meet someone like i did in saint france, yupp, that just died.. i thought i'd give it one more shot after Danielle.. like hey nth seems wrong, she seems like my type.. why not right? and i was proven right once again.. love doesnt exist in my life.. no matter how much u care abt someone, they'll never really appreaciate you.. well, cause most people are selfish.. which is what caused me to turn cold to the whole world.. why should i care abt u.. if u dont care abt me, or want smth from me or have a sickining ulterior motive.. but then, ah.. screw it lar.. u wanna make use of me, go ahead.. smth that i picked up from ken and brian was just to smile it off and say ok.. and just take it for exactly what it is.. so yeah.. i guess i am thankful to her for making me realise so much abt my self.. but i am sad it ended.. i thought it was going swell till i dont even know what one earth happened.. trust issues.. i dont hate her or dislike her or anything.. shes great.. but it hurt so much that day i pulled back alot.. i'm just gonna not go near women for now.. yes sam is stopping the dating game and being a gay army man.. i'm just not ready though i just want to run back to her..

its funny how i always used to run away from my problems.. till i met her..


speaking of that i got my new uniform today.. looks like a dam cop outfit.. haha.. time to ka jao people.. i need to improve my chinese..

so tomorrow/sat should be persuit of happiness day with xy.. and hopefully the gay lovers will come along at night : Jelvind..


i still look like a bloody dick with my gay botak head..and i have mini lats! woot!


skatings growing on me again.. managed to land one tyco backside flip.. anyway.. its gonna be ollie season..

Did you get my message? (Ahh)
That I want to reconnect with you… (ooh)
Did you get my message? (ahh)
That I want to get back with you… (ooh)
Did you get my message? (Ahh)
That I want to reconnect with you… (ooh)
Did you get my message? (ahh)
That I want to get back with you… (ooh)