gay



skated yesterday with ken... got my new bearings an new deck unfortunately i dont have a a screwdriver to fix it up.. i can feel my switch improving.. i feel like i can push for an ollie down 3 to 4 now but i guess its still scary.. and then theres the switch 360.. gaahh i feel so close so so so close..


anyway.. skating was pretty interesting yesterday.. romke was back with his unique style.. benji was his gay old minramp self.. and then there were the junoirs.. we had a senior vs junior game of skate..we won the first round but lost the second..i must say it was smth pretty interesting.. i wish alvin was there though...


anyway.. ive had a pretty rough week this week.. emotional roller coaster rides all over the place.. i guess partially i dont know how i feel much abt alot of things anymore.. i do know i love u so much.. but the things said sometimes really hurt.. but i only have my self to blame for the stuff thats happened..


i've been sad since i;'ve entered ns.. i want to be in the kitchen.. i want to study.. i want to progress.. sure i'm progressing in a different way now learning abt being responsible and all that admin stuff but i mean.. i wish i was there.. being amongst other chefs.. burning my hand.. cutting clillis.. commanding what food needs to be fired out first.. decorating the freshly laid plaits and scooping ice cream.. i miss tat.. i miss being my self..


my entry has no link and continuity but this is how i'm feeling.. i've messed up pretty bad.. but i'm willing to pick up the peices if someones gonna be along side to guide me..



WTF AM I TALKING ABT.. this is so not sam