heart sunken

today i teared..

i've been blessed to be in the presence of a great cook..

someone who i regard as a mother in the kitchen..

for the past few months i started working at this korean restraunt and was put looked after by auntie wong.. she rocked all my principals of the kitchen..

a professional kitchen is a place in which one is brought to believe that they have to work their way up from the bottom. dish washing.. cleaning up.. tossing salads.. basic cutting is what newbies to restraunts do.. for her it was the other way.. shed never let us do any of the cleaning.. she had her eyes everywhere.. teaching us even the more advanced dishes.. never scolding us when we did it wrong.. always reminding us to be better cooks.. she was always smiling.. she cooked awesome lunches everyday for us hungry and roudy boys.. there was so much love in her towards the kitchen and her peers..

today was the last time she cooked us our favourite sweet and sour fish.. and cleaned up after us cause we were too busy handling orders..

i really feel so overwhelmed with emotions right now.. even my partner ata was saying he felt like tearing.. but why? people come and go..its the natural way of life..

but how many of those folks touch your hearts and share what ever knowledge with u.. who teach u to stand on your two feet.. who are selfless and put you before themselves.. how many? i'm not one of those people definately.. even as i write this i feel so much of a sinking feeling..


i'm honered to have worked with an angle in the kitchen.. a true chef who never deemed her self fit to be one.. a 55 year old with the sprit of a 25 year old.. her ways of teaching will never be forgotten.. and i know as much as i'm not like her, i wish to attain qualities like her..

she doent know how to use the internet but for the heck of it, all of us are gonna miss you.. our darling auntie wong.


wtf.. so dam gay.. ughhh

sinking....

its finally friday nite..

i havent been able to sleep well for the past few nights..

my hair is turning white and my eye bags are heavy.. it needs to be died again..

plans for selling the house in india are not going too good.. if that doesnt work america may be delayed again..

i'm not happy.. and i never thought i'd say this, but i'm feeling the stress lately.. always thought it didnt exist..

just so dam tired..

i find my self going through a change.. i need to set my ground rules and stick to them.. fucking wasting precious minutes..

but i'm so fucking tired...

jason mraz tml..


AM psy-ked..

ABSOLUTELY ZERO..

You. You were a friend. You were a friend of mine I let you spend the night
You see how it was my fault. Of course it was mine.
I'm too hard at work. Have you ever heard of anything so absurd ever in your life.
I'm sorry for wasting your time.

Who am I to say this situation isn't great when it's my job to make the most of it?
How could I ever know that it would happen to me. Not that easy.

Hey what's that you say? You're not blaming me for anything that's great
But I don't break that easy. Does it fade away?
So that's why I'm apologizing now for telling you I thought that we could make it
I just don't get enough to believe that we've both changed.

Who am I to say this situation isn't great? It's my time to make the most of it
How would i ever know that this would happen to me, not that easy, no, no, no, no

If all along the fault is up for grabs why can't you have it
If it's for sale what is your offer, I'll sell it for no less than what I bought it for
Pay no more than absolutely zero.

Well neither one of us deserves the blame because opportunities moved us away
And it's not an easy thing to learn to play a game that's made for two that's you and me
The rules remain a mystery. See it was so easy.

Who am I to say this situation isn't great? It's our time to make the most of it
How could we ever know that this would happen to me, not that easy, no
All along the fault is up for grabs and there you have it
Well it's for sale go make your offer, well i sell it for no less than what I bought it for
Pay no more than absolutely zero.