i'm messed up..

i hate this..

i hate this fighting.. i hate you you fucking chee by ass hole mingyi bloody fuck face.. i cant remember the last time i've felt so mad in my entire life.. i hate u i swear.. i cant stand u getting close to lucy... u're making my life miserable..


i'm at my lowest most point in my life now.. i feel dam lousy.. i've hurt lucy.. i've hurt my senior at work.. i've pissed my boss off so much.. i've disappointed my self.. i'm loosing my drive.. i cant be there for xy.. i destroyed my friendship with iona.. i feel like a total wreck..


i've tried and i'm still trying for you..i'm sorry for all the pain ive caused.. other than that.. i feel like my spirit is broken and totally crushed.. i know u're just gonna turn to him.. i know i'm gonna turn against everyone if that happens.. i know i might just give up on everything for a while.. i had this feeling coming today.. and hes gonna win.. i know he is.. i know u want to speak to him right now.. hes gonna be there.. and i'm the last person u wanna speak to.. once again i'm gonna be left here hanging for mistakes i made.. ure right.. i dont deserve u.. i dont deserve anyone..


i'm behaving like a boy and not a man.. if its meant to be, its meant to be.. what bull shit.. u gotta try and keep trying if u really want it.. i just dont feel u want it no more..=( i want to go back to the start.. let me take u there.. scrap the past.. lets start new.. i'm not thomas.. i'm not dom.. i'm sam.. and i hate mingyi.. weather u like it or not, as long as hes gonna be in the picture, i'm gonna be unhappy..


and i hate it when u think i dont believe in u.. i hate it when u think i dont care.. i hate it when u just think i'm agaisnt u.. hello u greyskull.. i love u.. and i'd do anything within my power to make u happy.. i'm tying to be that guy u want me to be but theres only so much i can do at one time.. u just have to see it this time.. i have a good start.. so please.. lets let the ikea dreams come true..

its the hardest thing i'll ever have to i do....

UGHHHHHH...

i hate emoness..


hardest thing 98 degrees.. so cliche.. but i mean.. wa...



It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you i don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever had to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending i don't love you


I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like dr. zhivago
All my love i'll be sending
And you will never know
There can be no happy ending

ip

ughhhhhhhhhhhh... i feel horrible yet happy..


eterna can skate.. i'm quite proud of him..


just that seeing him struck me with nostalgia of lucy..

dam weird weird feeling in my stomach..

i'm really fighting to let go..

guess every ones spirits were down today


aiya.. i know i'll get through this..


ughhh.. i cant even sneeze cause of the work outs i've been doing.. body is aching like mad.. yet it feels so good.. haha bye bye belly..

sooner or later

hellooooooooo...


nice song nice song..



Oh what a price we pay
For the things we say
And the closer I get to you
The further you move away

All the lies we tell
In the games we play
And the longer I think it over
The harder it is to stay

Sooner or later I'll be free
To leave the past behind
Sooner or later you're gonna be
The last thing on my mind
Little by little I'm finding out
The truth behind your eyes
Maybe if I don't show
I thought you might like to know
You're gonna be the last thing on my mind

You didn't want to know
I could have told you so
But the moment I think it's over
The further there is to go

Just a little word
Such an easy way
But the longer I think about it
The harder it is to say

Sooner or later I'll be free
To leave the past behind
Sooner or later you're gonna be
The last thing on my mind
Little by little I'm finding out
The truth behind your eyes
Maybe if I don't show
I thought you might like to know
You're gonna be the last thing on my mind



Alan parsons project





wa my whole body is aching from excersiee-ing. i feel so close to the gold badge.. the one thing that can lift my sprits now besides the new box on coming on sat.. wa its gonna be awesome i tell u.. all the mannuals and low grinds i've always wanted to do..


PHOTO!! havent uploaded one in ages.....