wooo.. sam is back... ok not me.. the other sam.. our bukit batok pigeon..
skating at sp was just nice today once again.. chatting talking and not being afraid of the box! hahahhahaha..

i've planned my wedding! i'll propose to the girl with an onion ring.. offer her curley fries as earings, give her a chicken macnugget necklace, and then a peice of some banana choco cake as our wedding cake..


XY.. u can come in your new pink underwear with cows.. ONLY!hahahha..





=D

ughhhasldhoqfhqf

gay

fucked up pms my mum is having..

annoying work

bloody stupid band stuff








and people why i run away.. why i just disappear.. why is it so easy.. isnt it easy?

i just want to be alone..but maybe with just u around..

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and i'd think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me i came through

I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that i knew you were there for me
Time after time you were there for me

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - i remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - i remember you

We spend the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said i love you babe, without a sound
I said i'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss

Love letters in the sand - i remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - i remember you

We've had our share of hard times
But that's the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear you'll never be lonely

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
'cause you'll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, i love you

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - i remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - i remember you

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - i remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - i remember you



wa i relaly really love this song.. its so dam emo and gay and wa.. i want this song at my wedding.. haha..


anyway... ya.. i got a gay bbq tonight.. but i'm not in the mood for cooking.. i'm just feeling super happy lar.. i know why but i'm not gonna say.. anyway.. gtgg..

dam right i'm emo you fuck heads..

gayy

so.. apparently life sucks.. i'm not as happy as i thought i was.. i'm an emotional wreck.. but at least i'm not in that shitty state of mind i was in today..



but hey.. at least i can think clearly.. i'm facing my problems.. and yeah.. i'm not running away like i always do.. even though its smth i want so much right now.. SO FUCKING MUCH..

well.. i have alot to say abt u.. and like wise u have alot to say abt me too.. now i see your true colors.. u're no more different than adam.. well.. at least the old adan.. and the fact is that u're a drifter.. u've changed so much over the months.. and i'm not saying this alone.. everyone agrees.. so if u think i'm wrong, so is everyone else.. but hey.. theres only so much one can try maltin..zach tried the most.. i feel his pain.. i've never seen anyone so torn abt loosing a friend.. live in your fucked up state of mind and assume what u want to.. have the control of what u wish.. and watch u loose all your friends one by one.. u're not who u claim to u are.. everyone sees right through u.. ohh look everyone.. its just another phase malts going through.. i wonder whats next.. wake up and come back from zachland man.. this is my opinion and if u dont like it, too bad.. think what u want of me.. but at least i'm trying to change and quit being selfish to the people who made me who i am today..the family.. well.. i'm waiting for u to shed your next skin.. yes.. oh.. and u wanna know smth.. personally.. hopping around in circles doesnt make u a rocker.. tatooing shit doesnt make u a rocker.. showing off yur cigg marks doesnt make u a rocker.. it makes u a brat.. wake up la.. u're really a raihanzach now.. are u that desperate for attention from the world?

i stand by what i just said.. i'm pissed and disappoined.. i know i always think i'm right at times.. but hey.. if majority of the people around u feel u've got a problem, obviously u got one.. so please.. wake up.. not for me or anyone else.. but for your self.. be maltin man.. not some fame and money hungry dipshit..



business propsals today.. excited.. nervous.. unsure.. i dont know.. i need to take a calculated risk..


if you call me today.. i'll say that i'm fine..
but i bet u can tell from the tone of my voice its just a lie..

gay


Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
If you said goodbye to me tonight
There would still be music left to write
What else could I do
I'm so inspired by you
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That's where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time


Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh
For the longest
I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you
And how you needed me too
That hasn't happened for the longest time


Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more than I hoped for


Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time


I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
Hold on to your heart
Now I know the woman that you are
You're wonderful so far
And it's more than I hoped for


I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time



we will make it boys.. we will together.. and i intend to hold u guys for the longest time.. 4 of us.. tight like butt cheeks.. !

gay..



ok i tried to to make you feel better.. i'm trying to be there.. and not let u just rot in the corner.. and i'm never gonna bring it up..



i cant believe i didnt say nth at the chalet yesterday to her.. i really really really am begining to know my self alot now..

anyway.. i have dam cool news.. i got a midnight limo service.. like if i ever need a cab, i just need to call a certain number after midnight and this guy called han will come pick me up witin 20 min or so.. and theres no extra booking charge.. just the normal midnight fee.. which i think is pretty cool.. plus its a merse cab.. shiok man!

Lady, dreamer, you might be the soundest sleeper,
Tonight, sleep tight, and build your nest upon my shoulder.

control

gay..


i realised today alot abt my self..


u're right abt me.. i always think i'm right.. i assume things.. i'm a control freak.. and i realised because of that, i cut of so many ties with friends.. ok i really dont regret any of those friendships i broke..and that i just stop talking for no apparent reason.. why? cause it makes me feel like i'm in control.. like i chose that path.. that i decided that i didnt want to speak to them no more.. my pride.. my fucking enormous pride.. its so huge.. i can see it.. i can feel it sticking right in my face.. i'm proud to admit i have a pride.. and i'm also too proud to do anything abt it.. a wise lady who hardly even knows me told me that my pride would cause my down fall.. my ego.. i didnt believe her.. like wtf i thought to my self.. i'm not proud.. i'm SO NOT proud.. but.. shit.. she hardly even knows me, but can read me so well.. that i didnt even know it was true till another close friend brought it to my face.. and thats when things hit me.. when the people i care abt tell me how they truly feel abt me.. it means so much.. so thank u joette.. seriously..



i still dont want to burst my bubble.. i dont know why.. but i seriously need to control it ALOT now..

even band stuff... i shouldnt have been so extreme abt it.. i could have just cut down my talking.. but no.. i did the extreme.. i have issues.. i seriously have issues.. oh but i dont hate my self.. haha.. i've come to accept this is who i am.. i do feel how ever i should lower my pride and start taking lessons in humility and what ever the opposite word of pride is..

gay..


started off today with driving and then band stuff.. its funny.. today i totally didnt say a much.. didnt give my opinion.. basically didnt do anything la.. i mean since i'm suddenly such a dicktator.. i rather not say anything anymore.. at least for the time being.. it really makes no diff to me..

ken ky juju and i made a new friend today from japan.. aseho.. freaking awesome skater.. dam good style.. WHITE SHOE LACES.. and he was dam humble.. felt really good skating with someone as good as him...


i seriously hope i get kicked out of the band.. haha.. no matter how good they are.. i just dont feel like being there anymore.. so yeah.. if anyone of u read this.. do know i dont want a part anymore of yur success..

tuna ice cream

i think that time is coming.. where i must just shut up.. and not say anything.. and just remain quiet.. i'm not gonna give my ideas.. i'm not gonna say nth.. i'm just gonna follow.. when people look to me.. i'm gonna just act like i'm following the crowd.. why? cause ive become a dictator.. and it sucks.. suddenly people think i want things my way.. but rather i'm just doing what the mass of people want.. so next time, fine.. i shall just sit and watch.. and do my own thing..


and i think i'm being fucking childish abt it as well.. abt everything.. but seriously.. who gives a shit.. cause no matter what i do, it seems to some people as the wrong thing.. its easy to say.. sam is becoming a dictator.. sam is becoming bossy.. perhaps i am.. maybe its cause half the people around me cant make simple decisions.. some cant even make decisions abt their own dam lives.. sure we all have problems.. so from now. at least for a while, i'm just gonna sit around and smile gayly and do my own thing.. esp if u people are unhappy with my judgement calls..

for example.. adam told me only the first like of the second verse had a backup vocal..i insisted it was the whole second verse.. he kept insisting that that he was right.. and soo.. i gave in without a fight.. so when i go home and listen to the song, what do i hear?? the whole second verse with a backup vocal.. i mean seriously.. wtf..


strange thing is.. i never get comments of being bossy or dictatorlike at work cause i'm always following other people..

let me feel better..

gayy


wa seriously.. these past 4 days have been messy and have had their ups and downs..

i'm begining to dislike what i'm becoming.. i see my self changing.. i'm scared.. i dont know if i can hold it all together..


all the comments i've got from people.. they arnt bad.. but the thing is.. WHY have i become like this.. a total control freak.. like i need to be in control of the situation.. even if someone else is running it.. hes just a puppet.. like i'm egging him in the direction i want things to go.. not like things turn out bad.. i just cant stand dilly dallying.. i mean.. maltin says i'm systematic person.. i'm over systematic i think.. like i seriously plan and plan and even plan all the alternative ideas if the main ideas fuck up.. its scaring me.. alot.. the sound man told me i'm too nice to my band.. some times i wonder why i still care so much to get things done.. it annoys me.. i wish some one for a change would lead me.. would let me follow.. i guess thats why i like work some times.. cause theres one place i dont lead.. i dont teach.. i dont guide.. i just follow and learn.. and get to listen and keep my mouth shut.. then its nice to know things from people that i'm the center of some peoples universe.. like a gravational pull holding things together.. no i'm not saying the world revolves around me.. i'm just saying that i could just fuck care abt alot of shit but i make the move to get things done.. which then makes me feel like a control freak who cant let go and wait for someone else to do things..


it sucks..


other than that.. there are still pending matters on stuff i dont even know.. i seriously dont know what to do.. i dont know what to say.. dont know what to believe anymore someone please drag me out of this misery.. light up my life again.. SOMEONE..





She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If we coming or I'm going
It's not how I planed it
I've got the key to the door
But it just won't open

And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
It goes I never went before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better
And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping

I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have it seasons
Round and round it goes
And every day's a one before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feels better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better

And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

Long try to holding on
To all things I ought to leave behind, yeah
It's really getting nowhere
I think I need a little help this time!

Yeah,

I'm gonna try anything that just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better

And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better



SPOT ON AEROSMITH AND SANTANA!!! SPOT ON!!